A paralyzed guy walks into a bar... Oh wait, he can't.

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I was on Facebook today. Opened someones wall. Read "LIKE if you know someone that needs to be smacked in the face with a shovel." So I liked it and wrote my exboyfriend's name.......

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An Irishman, a Zimbabwean and a South African walk into a bar... oh wait, it's just the English cricket team.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

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Why was the napkin wet? Some water was on it

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Why did the friendly not play outside? Because they were dead. Just like your dreams.

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Trouble with the trolley, eh? No

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Roofs are Red...I have a Cunt!!!

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roses are refds violet are xaflj;k it sucks having turretts syndroewe

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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What happened when the black woman moved to the front of the bus? There were no seats available but everyone was very nice about it. She also asked for gum. Somebody did have gum. Which was nice.

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I may have Alzheimer's. But at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Why did I kill the Muslim because I'm smart

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A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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If the best things in life are free, whats the hardest things in life? Death.

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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Why did my ex-husband get fired from the m&m factory? He was throwing away all the W's.

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yo mama is so fat that a kid said to her ' The White Buddha Has Returned'

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog.

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What happened to the convict on death row? He died

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Why was the baseball player happy? He got married.

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Want to hear an anti-joke? Yes. Well I'm not going to tell you one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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