what do santa clause and a blueberry have in common they both have beards....except the blueberry

An man walks into a bar and then proceeds to purchase an alcoholic drink.

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Roses are red Violets are violet Jesus Christ how dumb can you get.

Why is there air? To blow up basketballs

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Not Suzy" "Why?" "Because she has no arms"

roses are read, violets are blue. i have alzheimers and Jill came tumbling down.

Q. What do you call a person with no arms, legs, torso, or head? A. A mutilated corpse.

Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

Roses are Red Violets are Red Grass is Red Trees are Red My yard is on fire.

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse didn't respond, because it's a horse.

what's worse than a joke about the holocaust? the holocaust.

Roses are yellow Daisies are purple Tv drinks yes Why swing the door

Q:Howd the blind kid find his way home? A:He didnt, he got lost and died of starvation.

How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her a very challenging question.

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Q: Why does the chicken cross the road? A: To get hit by a redneck.

Why did the baby stop crying? I shot it with a 9mm pistol and put it in the microwave because it cried while I was watching Sienfeld.

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How do you catch an elephant? Dig a nice deep hole in the ground, and fill it with ashes. Next, line the outside of the hole with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, kick it in the ash hole.

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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