Why was the woman arrested for trying to have sex with a miner? Because he was on the job and her advances were completely unwanted.

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you dint have to be a jew matt

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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A man walks into a bar. Cool story, bro.

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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? A: I'm sorry. I was raised in an abusive home and I never learned how to properly express my emotions. I'm going to seek professional counseling but in the meantime we should end our relationship for your safety.

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what did the guy do at the funeral? cry because his wife died

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you get when you put Star Wars and Disney together? A Bad Sequel

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What is similar between a dog and a cat? They are both dogs except for the cat.

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Q:What did the midget say to the toll booth operator? A: Is your family dead too?

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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ive got nothing funny to say, so this is what its like to be a woman

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why do black people like lotion? because everybody else does.

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Q: How did the blonde girl get into Harvard? A: hard work, dedication, and a perfect SAT score.

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Why did the black 10 year old miss school? Because his grandmother just had a severe heart attack and the whole family is coming in to visit and pay their last respects.

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To tell the truth... Your really an abortion that grew

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I blackmailed his family with rape from Ronald mcdonald

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What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

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There is a black man and a Mexican in a car. Who's driving? The driver.

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What is yellow and writes? -A Ball Point Banana!

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How did Richard the lion heart get his name? From his parents.

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What did one penguin say to the other? Flippty-flop-dop-boop-de-bop. Jazzhands.

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a guy walks into the bedroom with a duck in his arms, his wife is in bed half nakid. he then coments out loud this is the pig im f**king. his wife says huny your holding a duck. then he with a serious look on his face says im sory i wasent talking to you

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what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops