Why did the fat guy survive the the plane crash? He was late to get up due to a malfunctioning alarm clock and so missed his flight, sparing him of the tragic outcome the other passengers suffered. To this day he still thinks about how a completely random occurrence saved his life.

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Why did Madona rub shit on her vagina? Because she was horny.

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Yeah, Eliza, its me, its so strange, you are the only one I remember from highschool, I was worried you had forgotten about me, anyway, yeah type as if you where speaking to him, and dont worry, I know I could not keep a secret back then, and I told Nero, so and he promised me he would kindly break my fingers if I told anyone, besides I dont do that anymore trust me.

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how many pieces of wood can a lumberjack cut in a minute? three dead squrlles a hat and and half of a tree oh and a bus. and if u get in his way alot of guts spewed every where

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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Why couldn't the convicted felonist get back to America? He was in Antarctica and accidentally licked a flagpole.

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What did the Cow say to the Chicken? Nothing animals cant talk

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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ejaculation JLR

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Why were you at a funeral? Someone died.

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What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench Men enjoying a day in the park

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A plumber walks into a bar and the bartender says "What will it be?" and the plumber says "no drinks thank you, I'm here to fix the toilet."

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Two guys walk into a bat, they have a couple drinks then go home, one crashed and died in a horrible drunk driving accident. The other, who took a cab, went home and viciously beat his wife.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swings? Because she didn't have arms or legs. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

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- Wanna see a magic trick? - Sure - Too bad. I don't know any.

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Your mama's so fat, she cries daily and regularly questions her purpose in life.

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yo momma is soo stupid when anyone says anything she say i don't understand .

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watch me nae nae

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why did the man ride the helicopter,because he was hurt horrible in a car accident.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Everything's brown Who shit on my flowers

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What does a eagle and a bunny have in common.. nothing they're two different animals.

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Whats white and sticky? Marshmellows

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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I like to thumb up my own jokes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops