What do you call your mum without an umbrella? Saturated Fat

A man was struck by lightning. What did you think he got super powers or something? No. He died a horrible death

there once was a cat it was brown? fus-roh-dah

what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

Q: How do you make sweet sexy love to cow and make her come several times and then have her lick your stick clean without nobody ever finding out? While secretly keeping her as your girlfriend forever? A: Wouldn't you like to know...

What do you call a bench full of white people The NBA

Q: What does a Jedi say when another Jedi farts? A: Who sabered the cheese?

Knock, Knock Who's there Cluck Cluck who? Cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck - proceed to bob head and flap wings - cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck

What's green and has wheels? Weed. I lied about the wheels.

A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

What did the black police officer say to the white police officer? We just got a call in. Four dead children were found in an alley behind a mall.

How many blondes did it take to screw in the lightbulb? Just one. She did a fine job.

What do you do when you see an ostrich playing tennis? I don't know as I have little experience in the areas of ostriches or tennis. Frankly, I'm not quite sure why you're even asking me

If a girl sleeps with 20 guys, she's a slut. If a guy does the same... He's Gay.

what is similar between a turtle losing its shell, and a man selling his chlothes and house? they are now both naked and homeless

A guy walks into a grocery store. He asks a lady where the potatoes are. She says on isle 5 He goes to isle 5, but there are no potatoes.

Man comes home and sees another dying man lying in the center of his house. He yells at the man, "HEY I DONT KNOW YOU" The man on the floor replies, "That's funny, my family used to say the same thing"

have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he....

God made Coke God made Pepsi God made me, Oh so sexy

Why did the little girl stop riding her bike? She was hit by a car.

Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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