What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

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What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

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Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

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How did the retarded, blind child win the Special Olympics? He didn't, he died of terminal lung cancer the year before. R.I.P.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Q: What did the tree say as he fell? A: Studies have shown plants in general do not have a voice box, thus making plants incapable of speaking.

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a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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minorities

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doc, I blacked out last night and have a sore ass." The doctor took some x-rays and informed him he had colon cancer.

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I read my Uncle an anti-joke. He is still wondering why it made no sense to him.

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A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

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What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

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Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

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A: What did the orphan get for christmas? Q: Nothing she doesn't have any parents

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whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? One is a vegetable and the other is a human being.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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Why did the boy get stuck on the toilet? He was Elvis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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