Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, Dead.

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why did the boy have no friends? cause he was smelly

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A man is at a party. He gets hungry so he waits in the foodline and then he gets some food. Then he has to go to the bathroom so he waits in the bathroomline and goes to the bathroom. Then he is thirsty so he goes to get some punch and realizes that there is no punchline.

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punchline below punchline above

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When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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Why did the blonde go to business school? She wanted to get into business, and decided that a business degree was a good place to begin.

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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Women's rights.

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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Why did Little Suzie fall off her bike? I hit her with a shovel. Why did little Suzie die? I hit her with a shovel and she fell off her bike.

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

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Why Is Six Afraid of Seven? because he is black.

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What's worse than having no coffee at the office? Looking out the window on the 100th floor and seeing the cockpit of a Boeing 767.

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Neither have I

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why did bob hit Jim Because bob didn't like Jim

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What's worse than the Holocaust? 2 Holocausts

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no hands. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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It's not that hard to be Dyslexic. You just have to accept it nad ovem no.

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When life gives you lemons you mix them with vinegar to make a drink that will help your high blood pressure.

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What's the difference between a melon? One of its halves are both the same.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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