A wife asks her husband to treat her like she's special. So he tells her, "Gooooooooooo... Maaaaaaaaaaaaake... Meeeeeeee.... Aaaaaa.... Saaaaaaaandwitch

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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What's worse than taking a bite in an apple and finding a worm in it? Taking a bite and finding half a worm.

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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Dear 6, Please stop hitting on me, I heard you've done some pretty dirty stuff with 9. Sincerely, 7

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What did the two homosexual dolphins do when nobody was around? They continued on their way because neither of them had met.

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when i'm away from home i sometimes get love sick, well they call it chlamydiae.

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Why is 3 less than 4? To get to the other side

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What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

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What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

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What did hitler give his granddaughter? A gas bill.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, Herp Derp

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What's a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

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How did the blonde die? Frogs teleported from the future and brutally murdered her with forks.

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Q. What does physiks sound to most of the people? A. There were two camels, one was green, how much does the sand weight when its dark?

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Q: What's worse than spilling milk all over the floor? A: Cleaning up the milk you spilled all over the floor.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A vast quantity of things.

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Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

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what's gray, red, and goes over a 100 mph? a toad in a blender

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What do you call black people in a pool? Healthy

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im gey

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Why did the toddler fall in the pool? He was irresponsibly left unattended outside and tripped on the edge of the pool. He died within two minutes and his parents were blamed for his death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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