A bear walks into a bar, and says "I'd like a gin... and tonic." The bartender says "AAAAHHH! A BEAR!!!" and calls animal control. Later after the beast has been tranquilized and carted away, he rationalizes having heard the bear speak as trauma-induced hallucination.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, Everything is gray, I'm a dog.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

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Where do the biggest potatoes grow? the ground.

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why did hitler hate the jews... because the nazies had to pay the gas bill

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

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Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

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knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

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Boys have swag, real men have class

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What did the walrus say to the Penguin. It said MAHHRGH. because walruses can't really talk

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If woman that have big breasts work at Hooters, then do woman with one leg work at Ihop?

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What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

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What happend when they were 3 guys in the air? They were skydiving

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What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

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What did the mexican firefighter name his kids? Jose and Pablo

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

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-Knock, knock! -Who is it? -Me

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why are black people so good at basketball? because they understand the fundamentals, work hard at becoming better, and have fun playing the game/

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If you watch the titanic backwards, its really about a magical ship which saves peoples lives!

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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