A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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Which came first? The chicken? Or the egg? Whichever one was more sexually excited i guess.

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An asian and a black guy walked into a bar. An ambulance rushed to their aid as they were in great pain and had a slight chance of becoming paraplegic.

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What is worse than tripping over a stone, and falling face first into a dog shit, Not much..

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Q: "How does a monkey hide in a jungle?", A:"Paint its balls red and sit in a cherry tree" , Q:"What is the loudest noise in the jungle?", A: "A native picking cherries"

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Q: What did the air freshener say to the car??? A: Nothing. Air fresheners are inanimate objects

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "What'll it be?" The horse never replied.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H2O!" The second man says "I'll have some H2O too!" Both men get water, because the bartender knows better than to give someone dihydrogen dioxide.

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Knock, Knock Whos There, Jews, Jes who, Whould you like some jews with that.

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Why didn't the woman need a watch? Because she had both her hands amputated after battling diabetes.

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whats brown and sticky? whatever is coming from your pants

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You tell me. I have amnesia.

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Why is life so hard? Because god isn't real

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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A black guy walked in to a gas station, walked up to the counter and payed for his items with his debit card.

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A spatial closet situates trolls beside the whistle.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Urine is yellowish and shit is usually brown... That's it, I was just remembering the colors of some stuffs

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? He was busy

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting a handjob from Edward scissor hands

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Really? Okay! UPPER COMMENT GOOD NIGHT NEROCHAN!

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below! no

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Why was the iPhone screen cracked? Because it was dropped on a rock.

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What do you get when you cross a muffin with chocolate chips? A chocolate chip muffin.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops