What do you get when you mix Lil Wayne and Lil John? A full size John Wayne

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

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Future last words Guess who edition: "This new prototype Ferrari XZ handles like a God even at full speed!...Well, if God had no brakes and his turning ability suddenly disappeared when going at over 300 kilometers per hour that is..." "Uh oh now! Another heart attack! Where is mah medical weed? SHAAAAAROOOOOOON!" "Please haters, lower your guns, I will stop singing! Beliebe me!" Moral: "OMG I AM ONLY THE SIXTH MOST USELESS THING NOW!" "MY BODY IS NOT READY! Urgh mah chest... CHAROOOOOOON!

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Q: What's the difference between a child dressing as a ghost for Halloween and a real ghost? A: About a tablespoon of arsenic.

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Boy: Hey girl see these arms? They are just dying to be wrapped around you! She stabs him dead End of story

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Whats the difference between eating an egg and an abortion? Think about it.

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Yo momma so fat that when she sat on the bible jesus poped out.

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? To see outer space

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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An airplane's engine suddenly blows up in the middle of its flight. The pilot turns around and sees a blonde and a brunette. He turns to his right and sees only two parachutes. The pilot says "Ok guys, only two-" Then the plane blows up.

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Why the West African Rhino is extinct? They were never Horny

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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roses are red,violets are blue,faces like yours belong in a zoo,but don't worry i'll be there to,not in a cage but laughing at you!

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If your name is coincidentally stated in this text, you will have to pay 200 of your country's currency to the person nearest to you whose first name starts with the letter G. Dexter / Ryan That is all....

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Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

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What has four legs but can't walk? A tranquilized bear

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Q. Why did the squirrel cross the road? A. Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did Ian die Because I shot him with a gun

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Why did the football coach go to the bank? To make a deposit

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cargo. Cargo who? Cargo beep beep.

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why did a bunch of black kids play in a pile of leafs? to have fun :)

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Once upon a time there was a boy who was 16 and a girl who was 14. The guy is in year 10 and the girls is in year 9 . Alot of people think he is a pedofile. Comment your opinion.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies on fire and a pile of living babies on fire? The dead babies are usually not as loud.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops