Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Keanu Reaves

Why was the homeless man lying on the floor? Because he was dead

Why did they bury the indian at the top of the hill? Because he was dead.

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What do two Jews have in common? They both practice the same religion.

Q) What did the Irishman get for his birthday? A) Drunk

What do you think when you see an asian woman behind the wheel of a car? She's very attractive.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Today I'll wear a hat on my head Instead of a shoe.

What does a shortstop do when the ball is by third base? He leaves the field to go to the hospital, his little sister just had a heart attack.

What did the dog say to the astro turf? SHUT UP!! I don't want to here your excuses, put the dishes away when you're done with them or so help me! You see the dog had been abused as a puppy and as a result he was always a bit off.

So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home

guess what What? Apsolutly nothing

what does rain do? think of how happy its life was!

How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

How much does a polar bear weigh? About 800 pounds

Why was the man wearing all white? He was a part of the Ku Klux Kan.

Q: What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? A: A set of Legos

Knock, knock. Who is there? Child services, here to take your children. The following day, there is another knock at the door. Who is there? The police. The woman runs into the kitchen and kills herself.

what do you do when you forget to do your math homework? kill your teacher

What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping your biscuit in your cup of tea.

What do a duck and a tricycle have in common? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

What's a ghost's favorite color? Usually whatever their favorite color was in life.

why did the blond sop at a red light? because it was red.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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