A large commercial airliner is piloted toward inner-city New York. The plane is driven into the World Trade Center by a terrorist. The United States will now issue a holiday to mourn all we have lost in this tragic event.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road A. Because he needed to get to the other side

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Why did the black man not get to go to the party that was filled with all white people? His mother had recently died and so he had proceeded to go to his mother's funeral instead of heading to his white bestfriend's party.

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Once upon a time, there was an ugly duckling. All the other ducklings made fun of the ugly duckling for being so ugly, and the little duckling felt bad. "Why do I have to be such an ugly duckling?," he asked. However one day, the duckling grew up and became........well, an ugly duck. Turns out he was just an ugly duck. The end.

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What does a black guy and an apple have in common? They're both apples except for the black guy

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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How do you say a bad word in your language? Like this: "A bad word in your language"

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Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

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Knock knock. Get out!!

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When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. That always nice, you dont want your dairy products to spoil.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy running off the cliff? Watch out! You're running off a cliff!

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Knock knock Who's there? The Land Lord The Land Lord who? I am here to evict you.

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What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

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Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!

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Hey girl, do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I dropped one and I can't find it.

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Roses are red, but there are also pink, white and yellow varieties Violets aren't blue, they're violet, hence the name I've got OCD And my poetry skills are also lacking.

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1st black guy: get a job 2nd black guy: i have one 1st black guy: okay

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For fitness! ...yeah... nobody laughed when Jonah Hill said it either... awkward

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A: "How much rope does it take to hang a baby?" B: "I don't know, how much?" A: "The guy at Home Depot didn't know either."

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Q.what is worse than finding a worm in your apple? A.finding two worms.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops