Q. What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? A. I don't were cleats when I jump on my trampoline.

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what do you call a unicorn crossing a bridge? nothing there fake

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A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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What happened to timmy? He had downsyndrome and walked off a cliff

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How do you make a boy cry? Kill his family

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What do you call a black guy driving an airplane? A pilot

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What is the difference between a snail and whale? A loaf of bread

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Did the owl ever reach the middle of the tootsie pop? Yes. Dreams do come true

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Why did the girl buy the watermelon? To eat it.

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Q. What do mummies do when they run out of toilet paper? A. Nothing - they're dead and inanimate.

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How did the young boy cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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Coach: Hey, you missed the team meeting today, but I wanted to let you know we've had a number of changes to the lineup. Player: Really? Who's on first? Coach: That's right. A man with the unlikely name of Mr. Who is on first. We also have Mr. What on second, and Mr. I Don't Know is on third. The rest of the team is the same. Player: Oh. People have weird names now. But I'm sure they're great guys. Thanks for explaining that. Coach: Any time. Don't mention it.

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How long does it take a woman to park a car? Shouldn't take long, depends on the size of the parking spot.

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A: Who are you? B: A random guy who walked into your house A: Oh sorry, I keep forgetting your name.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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What would a prostitute do if she was given a million dollars? She would probably diversify her portfolio. First, she would pay her rent. She would buy some groceries and a present for her mother. She would then invest it in stocks and low-yield bonds. She would they buy a vehicle. This win might not affect her continuance in her job.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? No one answers so the man opens the door and gets stabbed 7 times in the chest

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Why did the little girl drop her teddy bear? Because she was being sexually molested. Why did the little Jewish girl drop her teddy bear? Because gas came out of the shower-head.

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Why was the black guy in jail He was a jail guard

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The man decides to jump off the bridge and decides to make one last phone call. "Hello, Jane, this is Doug. I just wanted to let you know, from the bottom of my heart, that I love you." Person on the phone says "This is not Jane, this is Joe." "Oh, hi, Joe. Could you just tell your wife what I said. Bye." The man continues to jump down the bridge and swims with his beautiful girlfriend. They all had a great day.

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An orphan walks into a bar. The bartender calls Child Protective Services and is given to a nice foster family.

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A lonely man walks into a Self-Esteem class. He sits alone in the back because of his low self-esteem. Forever alone.

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What's up with women with there jewlery it's there's best friend,but a black man's best friend is reames..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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