Q: What's worse than losing your job? A: Seeing your entire family die in a car accident

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

thumb_up thumb_down -29

you were so loud you woke helen keller up!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's the best time to go to the dentist? Whenever your appointment is scheduled.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q. What is worse than being raped A. Being raped twice

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Your mom is so stupid she has to get homeschooled for college!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Your momma's so stupid, she threw out all the W's in the m&m's packet

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you know a black man's been in your backyard? If you throw a barbecue and your friends of African-American descent decide to bring cold cuts.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

thumb_up thumb_down -29

J?????????????????o??????????????????????k?????????????????????????e?????????????????????????????????????s??????????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????o??????????????????????n??????????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????y???????????????????????????????????o????????????????????????????????u????????????????????????????????.?????????????????????????????.????????????????????.????????????????????????

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

We are as to jokes as atheists are to religion.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

why did the white man walking down the street have no hair? he had had cancer for 5 years prior.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

The world blows up and everyone except for one man and his house make it out alive "Knock knock" "Whos there?" "Me" "Me who?" "Ummmm, its me, duh" It turns out the man was very bored and decided to go knock on his own door and tell knock knock jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I wonder what happen to John? Oh John I know what happen to him. What happened to him then? He was playing on the bridge and fell off on accident. Is he okay? Damn women of coarse he is not okay!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you kill a blonde? A gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A clueless chicken walks into a bar. Now being cooked on the BBQ.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

a dedicated fat guy joins a kung fu dojo he is asked to dedicate his like to his kung fu the fat man dose not he is already dedicated to being a fat guy

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Roses are red. Violets are violet.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's brown, black, and red all over? The burning cross on the lawn of a respectable African-American family.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops