- Anti Joke

what do you call a guy with no arm and legs laying by the door? Matt! what do you call a guy with no arms and legs floating on water Bob!

What did Osama say before he was shot? Nothing, it was a surprise attack.

What's a group of people that has an N, an I, two Gs, an E and an R that have no souls? Gingers.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

whats thin, long and hard? A: a pen is

What's white and bobs up and down in a babies crib? A pedophiles ass.

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we've got a drink named after you!". The grasshopper turns and says "You've got a drink named Steve?"

did you know why people keep saying "you know...you know..." in their conversation? well i don't know

What do you get when you eat all potatoes Their all gone

:) Hey AMBY VALENT! Want to join our horsehead show below?? Laughing track with that fat loud bitch that wont stop laughing making the actors stare at each other like douches :/ Muuh, I dont really care im just some meh character anyway so yuh...' Laughing track ? ???? ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA! :( Hey get outta our show here you China man! OOOH! Track plays with some faott whistling* ? ???? | Baka! leaves Awww track plays Laughing track

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had a gun to its head

I have a red ferrari and 20 dead babies in my garage. Didn't I have a blue ferrari?

Knock, knock Who's there? Man Man who? The man who is knocking. Now open the door Carl!

What did the apple say to the banana. Nothing fruits cant talk.

Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory? She made skittles.

Q: How do you get an elephant in a refrigerator in three easy steps? A: You open the refrigerator door, you put the elephant inside, you close the refrigerator door. Q": How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator in four easy steps? A": You open the refrigerator door, you take the elephant out, you put the giraffe inside, you close the refrigerator door.

Why are pigs smelly ? Because a cucumber can't walk.

Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

knok knok whos there know one cares your gay

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa Claus is a fictional old man who flies around delivering gifts, while Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

Justin Bieber walks out of a closet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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