what happened to the atheist when he died? he went to HELL

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The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

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Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

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-knock knock -i'm not at home, go away!

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drew edminstin is a rat

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen Property.

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Why can't the toucann fly anymore? Because they're extinct

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A victim of animal cruelty.

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There are two bears in a shower. One bear says "pass the soap." the other bear says "no soap. Radio."

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What happens when 2 gay men rub their penises together Jello

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What caused the man to become blind? He took an arrow to the knee.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? The baby is not a car.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, Who gives a shit

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What do you get when do you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence.

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What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To look at the most interesting man in the world.

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A black guy and a white guy both interview for a job. The black guy gets the job because he is college educated and highly qualified.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he saw a rather desperate looking homeless person coming towards him, and, realizing he had no change, figured it was the best way to avoid an awkward situation.

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What did you get for your birthday? I got older

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An man walked into a bar. Unbeknownst to him, the bar happened to be a having a Rave party. The man, having epilepsy, proceeded to have a seizure. Luckily, a paramedic was there and saved his life.

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A horse walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything or say anything because it is a horse. It proceeds to walk around and knock over a few tables before finding the door.

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Q. whats red and sits in a hairdressers? A. a baby getting its hair cut with a potato peeler

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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