Why did the woman step away from the kitchen? To pick up her paraplegic son, who had fallen.

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Guess who thinks your pretty? Hellen Keller

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Why was the guy coverd in garbage. I don't know but their are a lot of homeless people that can't afford the good stuff.

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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Why couldn't the bartender sell alcoholic beverages? He got fired

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knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? An Alzheimers's patient. An Alzheimers's patient who? To get to the other side!

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Why didn't the busy San Francisco business man hear his alarm clock ring this morning? A nuclear bomb blast occurred 700 meters from his front door. The estimated blast radius was approximately 100 square miles. Naturally, his alarm clock didn't make it.

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How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

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Why? Why not?

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Daniel is a fag

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Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a trick question. Feminists can't change anything.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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why couldnt hellen keller drive? she was a woman.

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What is the hardest thing about eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff. What's not pink and fluffy? Rape.

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Who is John Galt?

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Shes got a big booty so I call her by her first name, women deserve respect.

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A black man walks into a bar, and when he left he paid his tab and couldn't have been more courteous.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the marginal benefit of doing so exceeded the marginal cost.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops