what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and only one eye? Dave.

What did the horse with herpes say to Paul? Ney

a duck, a mexican, a camel, a jew, a duck, a moose, an asian, an ostrich, a turtle, an elephant, a scorpion, two vampires, a pokemon, your mom, Stephen Hawkings, a bird, a plane, mario, your family, and a plumber walk into a bar. They have cancer, AIDS, disabilties, diabetes, herpes, siezures, retardation, death in their families, drug addiction, no arms or legs, no home, no money, racial segregation, and have been raped. A combination of which is worse than the holocaust and three bee stings and a rope that fails.

How did the blond know that you like her? You said,"Baby, I like you"

Knock knock. Who's there? Conscience. Conscience who? Oh, sorry about that Hitler, you wouldn't know who I am.

what is the differnce between my truck and chuck norris? i eat my own poop.

Your mums so stupid. She bought an apple for 35p even though the shop across the road sells them for 34p

Bare with me here, im gonna change this up a bit What's better then finding a worm in your apple

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

Yo mommas so dumb she took an IQ test and scored low on it

your life

How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

What did the black guy say to the white guy? Hi!

Hey! I just met you. And this may seem crazy. So here's my number: Now Get in the van.

Did you ever notice how Bill Nye has a "labrotory" filled with young innocent children? hmmm, very suspicious!

I have a gay camel

Nah

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil armstrong Neil armstrong walks on the moon...Michael Jackson molests little boys

Q:why did the lion eat the zebra? A: because it was hungry.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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