How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

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What's got two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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How can you tell if someones gay? You ask them.

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What do you call 4 Mexicans getting into a car late at night? 3rd Shift carpooling

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Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

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There are two bears in a shower. One bear says "pass the soap." the other bear says "no soap. Radio."

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What did the girl with no eyes say? I can not see.

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What's the best use for a van full of candy? Donating it to an orphanage.

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why did the man get ran over by a turtle? he crossed the STREET

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Knock knock ? Who's there ? Ipe Ipe who ? You sick basterd !

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A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

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Where does a blind person drive a car? Into a tree.

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Uh... What was emulating again?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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What did the pear tree say to the farmer? Go harvest that corn over yonder.

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A brown park bench was bought. After multiple years the color had faded, and the bench was no longer the same shade of brown.

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what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

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have you ever had african food? neither have they

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: *BANG!*

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Q: Who followed E.T.A Hoffman? A: ASAP Rocky. (ETA and ASAP are both time-based abbreviations, ETA meaning 'estimated time of arrival' and ASAP meaning 'as soon as possible'. Thus, ASAP can form a response to a requested ETA. Additional humour comes from the dissonant occupations of the two individuals: E.T.A Hoffman being a nineteenth century gothic author, and ASAP Rocky being a modern rapper.)

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What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

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Yo mama's so fat she has diabetes.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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