Why did the girl drop her sucker? she was hit by a truck!

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

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What did the chair say to the guy? Nothing, as it is a chair and chairs can't talk

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Yo momma so poor, she can't afford to live in a two story Cheerio box

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

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Why did the father smash his sons head into the dentist's building? Because he had a locker in his mouth. Also, equestrian.

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Happy Birthday! Your mom is dead!

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here's a chuck norris fact: Chuck Norris is 5'10 and lost to bruce lee!

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A guy walks into a bar and says "ouch!" The bartender says "are you okay?" "Yeah I just stubbed my toe" Then the guy walks it off, and then orders a drink.

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What did the elf say to Santa I'm not making any more toys fat ass.

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How do you greet a small mexican man at Chuck E. Cheese? Whatsup Jose

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Why was the baby crying? He saw a nigga

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Why did Jimmy fall off of his bike? Well, he was always known for his lack of balance.

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George Zimmerman walks into a bar .

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Whats black and is on sale in shops? Blackberries.

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Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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The awkward when you didn't actually say moment.

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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Q. What did one wall say to the other wall? A. Peekaboo I see you.

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Ask me if I'm a rock. Are you a rock? No.

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Why was the kid mad? Because he died.

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why are the Harold and Kumar movies really funny? the man who wrote obvieusly has a good sense of humor.

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I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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