Knock, knock ... ... ... Well I guess no one is home.

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I'm on a seafood diet. It consists of prawns and tuna.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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One night, a heartbroken magician named Jeff went to a bar. Jeff met a nice girl, and they talked and laughed together for hours. After a while, Jeff asked her, "do you want to see a magic trick?" She ate his wiener.

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How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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How do you make a health inspector give you a good report? Throw his family into a pack of alligators.

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This is not an anti-joke... A man is walking down a street and see's a small boy crying in an alley. The man walks up to him and asks him "What's wrong little guy?" The boy replies that his family is poor, they just got evicted from there house and his parents decided to kill themselves. The man decides out of guilt to bring the boy home and support him for a few days. Three days later the man see's a note on the couch that says "Thank You..." Signed Jamal. The man sighs and says to himself "Your Welcome." The man walks into his room and see's the boy's body in his closet. He starts hysterically laughing and cries into his pillow for many minutes. When he is done sobbing he asks himself "What could be worst than this?" The man walks to his kitchen asking that question over and over. He reaches into his cabinet and grabs his cereal and pours into his bowl. The boy walks out chuckling and says, "Bye bye..." The man was poisoned and died. Now the boy get's the other cereal out and is about to pour it only to find out it was empty. "Screw the Holocaust this SUCKS!!!!!"

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What did the elderly lady say to the man? You still have not repaid my services

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Leaves are green, You should know all this by now...

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Neil Lewis

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Why couldn't a little kid turn around in a hall? He has a spear in his back.

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I bet you read this. Told ya.

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What's the difference between a ball and a bouncy ball? A bouncy ball is bouncy.

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Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

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Whats the difference between a baby and a bowling ball? I dont have a bowling ball stapled to my tree

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why'd my house get destroyed I was afraid the tornado that hit mass was going to destroy it so I blew it up

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What do dogs and whales have in common? They both live in the ocean. Apart from the dog.

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A woman with big boobs walks into a bar and gets raped

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Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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TIMMY

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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Why you don't laught when you see a black guy on a scooter? Because it could be your.

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what do dead babies and turkeys have in common? you eat them on ocasions

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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