Roses are gray Violets are gray ROFL I'm a dog

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The Kidder vs Bratman, not featuring Robbing the gay wonder: "MUHAHAhAha Bratman if you get me ill kill myself!" HOHOHOHO. "Uh okay" "I totally will!" "Go ahead" "I promise!" Bratman kills the Kidder as a favor, and no crime runs around Goodham city ever the end. Moral: Totally original nothing stolen from Joker and the Batman.

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Why did i write this joke knowing i wont get published? I don't know.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, no they're not. They're VIOLET. That's why they're called that. If they were blue, they would be called "Blues", or something of a similar nature. Don't be dumb.

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Like this joke, bitch.

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

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How do you kill a blonde? Pull the pin and throw it back...then proceed to paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Why did the guy hate the man that said,"I respect you?'' Because the man was Hitler.

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In Opposites Land, you might think the opposite of small is big. But no, it's nail clippers.

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Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

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Why did the Taxi crash? The cab driver was trying to remove the frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

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how did the homeless man die? He got stabbed

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The man was allergic to water. He unfortunately died because water is needed to sustain health as a human.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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a man was walking and saw a snake he was not afraid of snakes so he kept walking

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why did the girl cry while watching starwars? She was being raped

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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why did jenny get 22 turnovers in a basketball game? because jenny has down syndrome

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Two tomatoes were crossing a road when one of them got hit by a truck. The other said, Carrot.

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Why did the man with brain cancer die? He drove his Segway off a cliff.

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Why did the car slow down? Becuase the driver pressed the break

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Knock Knock Who's there? I eat mop I eat mop who? That's strange, most American's don't eat poo I'm Asian

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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