My lady, that is the backside of trust, I have decided to trust you, how am I supposed to feel about the fact that I believe to the point where I know that you mean everything you are saying? And that if you had any interest in backstabbing me, I would be risking my life, wife and friends. Do you not get trust? If you keep thinking like that, tomorrow you could be suspecting the mailman for being a spy, I can, and could tell you that I will cut ties with my employees, but then I would have you not only to believe me, but to support me financially, I do not need much, in fact, I need you to trust me, and if you do not trust me, what does it matter if I quit? You could accuse me for typing books that alter the mind (all books do), you could accuse me of having killed Nero and taken over... The point is, if you cannot trust me, then I cannot help you with what you ask, and if that is a requirement for our friendship to persist, then you are not looking for a friend, but for a employee.

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You're flying above the Kansas Ocean, you lose your brakes and have to paddle all the way to shore. How many dogs can you fit on a carousel? Blue, because Ice Cream is cold.

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OMG, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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What happened to the boy who ate too much? He got type 2 diabetes

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What did the lawyer say to the lawyer We are both lawyers

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Wanna hear a joke? that disabled guy who wants to climb mount everest.

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I milked the cow, but no gas came out.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana Smith, I'm here for the Smith Family Reunion.

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What's worst than dropping your watch into the gutter? Waking up with a penis on your head.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a would chuck could chuck wood? Home depot

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What did the kid say when the doctor said he had cancer Oh No

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-"Hey! You guys wanna hear a joke" -"What?" -"Womens Rights"

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I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now.

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Why did simran go over to maliyah and emma and andrea and alice and amanda and Every other fat ugly chicks house? Cause he cant fu*k anybody else!!!!!

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how come jenny could not fall asleep? their was a man standing outside her window holding a knife

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roses are red violets are blue you little stupid a*s b**ch i aint f***ing with you

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what can you say about a midget dressed as a clown? he had a terrible childhood.

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Your mother just died.

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Prostitution is bad.......

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Why did the gitl fail her cooking class? Because she was abused and severely beaten by her teacher

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Knock knock Who's there? No one you care bout so why did u say who's there?

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Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.

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Hellen Keller walks into a bar. Well, at least she thinks she did.

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Vagina (Note: If you are gay just move on by.)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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