What happened when the child missed his school bus home? He had to take the long 6 mile walk back home and did not return until dinner time.

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I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

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Q: why did the dad drop his baby? A: she was slippery.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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How do you get 2x1=4? Do the wrong math.

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Hitler: A jew walked into a bar... jokes, it was a gas chamber

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Roses are red violets are blue I have outsimers Wait what?

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Why did the student cry when he got an F on the test? because his dad beats him.

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

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Q:What did the wall say to the other wall? A: .

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No?

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff. What's green and fluffy? Green fluff. What's red and fluffy? A kitten that got hit by a truck.

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what is better than your entire family getting brutally murdered applesauce

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was suicidal.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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what's worse then a blowjob?

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What is black and white and sleeps a lot? A tired zebra.

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What's funnier than 9/11? Nothing. 9/11 wasn't funny. It was a terrible tragedy, the most tragic in U.S. history. If you think that is funny you are a sick person. By: Logan in South Dakota

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mom. Your mom who? Its your mom now open the danm door!

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Q: How did the black man own the Lamborgini? A: He was 2 Chainz.

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What does a kid with no arms and legs get for christman.... Cancer...

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Q: Why is six afraid of seven? A: Why??? Q: Idk, thats why I asked

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What crawls on the ground and shoots arrows? Legless Legolas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops