A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

Why did the man commit suicide? Because all meaning in his life were gone.

Read in a Jersey accent: SOOOOOO my friend __________ saw this coffee shop in new jersey! He was like.... i love coffee why dont they give it to me for free???? The man at the coffee shop Killed me! that is why coffee is not free!

Why did the armadillo fall off the cliff?

A Priest and a young child walk into a dark alley.... It leads to a church and he talks to the young boy about God

Know what's funnier than the holocaust? Almost everything i can possibly imagine. The holocaust was a terrible case of mass extermination due solely to naxis racist views

What did the doctor say to the actor? Your an actor.

guy walks into a bar, ouch

What happened when the turkey jumped out of the airplane? It fell.

What do you call someone who is unwilfully forced into a life of emotional abuse and domestic violence? My daughter.

What do two Jews have in common? They both practice the same religion.

I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

What do you say when you see your tv floating at night? Drop it, nigga!!

obama

A Muslim walks into a public library. 32 people killed in the explosion.

The next sentence is true. The last sentence was a lie.

why was the kid sitting in a wooden chair? Because at the early age of four he was diagnosed with cancer and genital warts!

A guy walked into a store and bought a candy bar. Why? Because he wanted some chocolate.

Why did the boy have glass in his mouth? Because he was chewing on glass.

Whats worse than 10 dead babies in the street? 11 babies in the street.

What did the man with no head say to the women?

What is the difference?

How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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