A duck walks into a restraunt and sit's down at it's table. The waiter asks what the duck would like to eat. The duck says "I'd like a tasty, healthy meal that will help me lose weight." The waiter says "How about the rocket salad?" So, the duck orders a rocket salad, eat's it, pays his bill, and leaves.

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What's red, white, and blue? light purple

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Dogs

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The guys Joke above me is funnier^.

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Women's Rights.

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Forget about them, do not compare yourself to those beneath you, you always wanted to help as many as possible, in a world where everyone fights for themselves only.

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Q. Why did the woman cross the road? A. Who cares, what was she doing out of the kitchen

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What colour are blackberries? Purple.

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Sometimes i like to paint myself red and then curl up into a ball and pretend i'm a tomato.

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What did the big traffic light say to the little traffic light? It didnt it's a traffic light.

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What do you call a tortilla from venezuela? A tortilla.

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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

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roses are red violets are blue your mum is a whore as are you:)

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A white man, a black man, a Mexican man and a Chinese man were on the same bus. The didn't socialize cuz that would count as racism

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm only 13 so if you have sex with me it's illegal.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Thats a matter of opinion

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You might be a redneck if you are an individual a part of a low social caste in a predominately rural area such as the southern part of the United States or a mountainous area such as the Appalachians or Ozarks who may or may not partake in stereotypical activities such as hunting, fishing or farming And who also lives in possibly degraded living conditions.

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Smoke weed till i die nigga

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Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

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I'm on the seafood diet. I eat clams and shrimp because it is healthy for me.

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Why did the cop stop a black guy with a Rolls-Royce? Because he was speeding while on his phone and going through red traffic lights.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Iif your reading this ur gay

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What's yellow and talks? A talking giraffe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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