What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

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A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was struck by lightning and died.

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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If you are swimming in a tree how many dogs does it take to crack a duck? The answer is 4 because nothing rhymes with orange

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Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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What's gay black & Jewish? The Ku Klux Klan

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

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What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

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So three black men walk into a bank, one of them uses the ATM, they all proceed to the exit after he is done.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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whats worse than getting hit whit a baseball? getting hit by a train

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops