The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

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Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

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Roses are red Violets are blue These two lines are overused I wonder to what poem they originally come from

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What happened to the Asian who ran into the wall with a boner? He ejaculated his sperm, impregnating the wall. The wall went to the authorities, and the man was charged with rape. He is now serving a 10 year prison sentence, with no possibility of parole.

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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First the lord created light by shouti... ...Then the lord travelled back in time in order to create voice before that. The lord then said "I almost logic and everything failed at the very beginning. he corrected himself and saw it was good,

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How many Anne Franks does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, cause she's dead.

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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why did the girl have pink hair? because she died it purple, but it didn't work.

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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What did the furry tweet when he went to a furry convention? A: I'm at a furry convention

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Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

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a gay guy is in a club, from across the room he sees another attractive man with now shirt and he gets an erection.

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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I was walking down the street next thing I new 15 blacks and Hispanics died in a dive buy. The next day every white guy in the cars doin the drive buy blew up ohwell

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Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

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are you from Tennessee, cause i wanna rip out your throat you piece of dirt

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Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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