Suck pussy

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

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Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

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whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

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How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

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What's the difference between dead babies and the holocaust? A lot.

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What do you do if you see a cat crossing the street? Hit it of course!

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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Why was the multi-millionaire entreprenuer sad? He went bankrupt.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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How many nazis does it take to kill 1.2billion Jews? No one cares anymore it was 60 years ago \(._.\) (/._.)/

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What is white, average height and cannot jump as high as a black man? A fridge.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Ebola is present And so are u

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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