- Anti Joke

Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

Why did all the boys come to my yard? Because of My milkshakes

What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

How many men does it take to wallpaper a room? It depends on how big the room is and, to a lesser extent, how wide the strips of wallpaper are. Also factor in variables such as ambient humidity.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

Q - What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a trampoline? A - I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.

How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

"My father walked out on me." "Oh that's strange because I saw him yesterday and he had no legs."

Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

Three black men was in a car. They were going on holiday.