How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, we have mutual friends, and violets are blue and roses are red. FRIDGE

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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why did the black man drink grape kool-aid kool-aid refreshed him after a hard days work out in the field picking cotton

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How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

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What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

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What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops