A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a terrible ship crash that leaves them stranded on a desert island. All of their survival supplies sank with the boat so they don't last very long.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

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What's annoying and wears glasses? The kid next to you

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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Did you see Stevie wonders house? Neither did he.

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Q.How Do You Make 7 People Laugh? A.Tell Them a Good Joke.

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Why did the chines were sunglasses? It was sunny.

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Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

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what is black and is a really bad neighbor. your bad neighbor wearing a black shirt.

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What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

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Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

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What do you call a bunch of Cubans on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico? A guy who just so happens to own a boat and is on a fishing trip with his buddies. -Mitch Hastings

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What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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