Why did the English man walk into a bar? Do get an alcoholic beverage to temporarily forget the pain of his recent divorce.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To be eaten.

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What do you call a mouse having sex? A spouse.

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A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

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Golf.

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Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

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whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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What did the korean say to the other korean. I don't know i dont speak korean.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

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What did the homosexual community have last night? A protest for gay rights.

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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Why did billy have a frog stapled to his face? Because he was having a bad day.

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Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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