Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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How many anti jokes can you make from one joke? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33. 34. 35. 36. 37. 38. 39. 40. 41. 42. 43. 44. 45. 46. 47. 48. 49. 50. And so on.

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Gregory: Hey, aren't you that pretty girl I saw from the party? Jenny: Huh? Gregory: No wait, it can't be you. Because you are WAY prettier. Jenny: Aw, that's so sweet, lemme give you my phone number. Gregory: Okay I'm ready to copy Jenny: It's 1-800-get-a-life-loser Gregory: Biitch

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what did the chicken say when it crossed the road? you know. chickens arent the only animal that can cross roads! why can it be why did the racoon cross the roads? because that happens more frequently!

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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How do you stop an aboriginal from drowning? Take your foot off his head...

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What's weirder than an asian? His dinner

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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Why did the chicken die? Because it was crossing a busy road.

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I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face" and the horse says "my wife just died of skin cancer."

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THE LOVE SHACK IS A LITTLE OLD PLACE WHERE WE CAN GET TOGETHER!

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what did the sock say to the shoe? Get your tongue off me.

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Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

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What's white, black, red, and flies? An airplane pilot with a battleaxe driven into his head

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A man fell in a hole. He's dead now...

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What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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