Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

What's black, white and red all over? A race war

a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

What's worse than a paper cut? 2 paper cuts.

Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...