What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

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If you just read this, You're dead.

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair... Fuzzy Wuzzy has cancer

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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What did the caninibol do when he duped his girlfriend He wiped

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

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what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

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Why did the boy run a marathon? because one of his good friends had just earlier passed away from pancreatic cancer and he decided to honor his memory by raising money through a 5k run. His family, friends and acquantances were all very proud of him and decided to hold the charity every year.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops