Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

thumb_up thumb_down +13

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why aren't fish good at telling jokes? Their neural structure isn't capable of processing languages or creating a method of communicating with humans, thus they both do not know any jokes since they are incapable of understanding the concept of humour.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops