A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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what do Russians play? Tetris, what else?

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How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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whats a funny joke? nuthing nuthing at all

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

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What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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Your momma's so fat that she went on a diet.

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What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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Yo mama so stupid, she signed an apointment with Dr. Pepper

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Aids, Black People, Cancer, Death, Retarded, Drunk, Sex, Black People, Holocaust, Blackies, White People, BLACK

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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