Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

A little boy is going to school when he is stopped by a stranger. The stranger tells the little boy, when his teacher asks him why he is late, just say willytop. The boy looks at the stranger oddly, but proceeds to go to school. He arrives 5 minutes late, and is teacher isn't that happy. His teacher asks him why he is late. All the boy says is Willytop. The teacher looks at him horrified, and sends him to the office. Well, the boy arrives in the principals office, and the principal asks him why he was sent down. All the boy said was Willtop. The Principal was so horrified that he expelled the boy from school. Well, the boy went home, to find his parents in the living. They told the boy they knew he was expelled, but they wanted to know why. All the boy said was Willytop. The parents were so horrified by this that they kicked him out of the house. Well, the boy is now walking to dark town streets, when he is stopped by a cop. The cop asks him why he is walking the streets alone. All the boy says is Willytop. The cop is so disgusted, that he kicks the boy out of town. Well, the boy is now sitting in a bar, and the bartender asks him why he is alone. All the boy said was Willytop. The bartender looked at him horrified, but before the bartender could say anything, the boy says "Please sir, I was kicked out of school, my house and even my hometown because of willytop. what does it mean sir?" The bartender nods, and tells the boy to come with him across the street, because if he tells him in the bar, the other people may get mad. Well, the boy and the bartender are across the street from the bar. The bartender opens his mouth, but before he could speak, a drunk driver hits them both.

Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

Why doesn't Lucinda have a penis? Because she's Mexican.

What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why did the referee go to the zoo? He likes animals

Two fish we're in a tank.. Yup.

knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

Roses are red, Metal is gray, Justin Beiber, is very gay

Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a mission for N.A.S.A.

Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...