Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

roses are red violets are blue heres the oven now where the **** is the jew

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I asked her where you were.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I'd like to advertise the love of Jesus in Kobane. Do u join me next Monday? :D

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A thief stole a calendar. Later, feeling guilty, he returned it to its owner, admitted his misconduct, and went to a local minimart to purchase his own.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the boy fall off the swing?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

thumb_up thumb_down -27

dat shoe shine tho

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops