Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

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A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

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Why aren't fish good at telling jokes? Their neural structure isn't capable of processing languages or creating a method of communicating with humans, thus they both do not know any jokes since they are incapable of understanding the concept of humour.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

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What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident. ... ... The police, your entire family died in a car accident who?

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

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What did God say when he made his first black guy? Oh no I burned one! :)

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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