Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

pobody's nerfect

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

bite me

thumb_up thumb_down +4

roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a girl with an iq of 13 Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

thumb_up thumb_down +2

"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops