don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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Incidentally,on the subject of friends, when do you actually classify someone as a friend? Is it: When you have been to each others' house; When you have had an intelligent conversation more than once; When you have stayed for dinner; Or perhaps simply when each has decided that the other is worth the air that they breathe? [L]

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knock knock? whose there? i dont know. i dont know who? i dont know.

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How do you make a Flamingo cry? Hit it with a sledgehammer.

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Men's rights

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What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

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How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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What has nine arms and sucks? Four children with two arms snacking on a lollipop, and one child with one arm snacking on a lollipop.

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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Why was the blonde confused? Because someone was dressed in a chicken costume throwing pinecones at her.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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How do you break your fan in the summer You dont its hot and you need it

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How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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Yellow People !!

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What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

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q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops