How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have 2 legs

What did michael say to sam? (pedo face) YEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

What did the homeless man's sign say? It didn't say anything. You had to read it.

how do you kill a blonde?? put a scratch n sniff on the bottom of a pool

What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

WITH YOUR RED THUMBS COMBINED! I AM CAPTAIN MORAL! You: GOOOOO (AWAY) MORAL! CAPTAIN MORAL MAN, IS A HERO, GONNA TAKE GREEN THUMBS RIGHT BACK TO ZERO... Moral: Okay that is all I remember about the Captain Planet Theme song... GIVE ME RED THUMBS MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! PS: Redhead, three months have passed (more or less) I wont call you because we agreed you would get of this fucking place, but I can visit you if you are a good little girl! And yeah I am calling you Red, Tifa just reminds me of Final Fantasy and your big bosoms so yeaaaaah get your little red haired cunt over here so we can chat yes?

We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

There's a white guy and a black guy, on a bridge. Of corse the idiot white guy jumps off. But the black guy yells, I NEVER LIKED U!!!!! Later that day the police showed up and asked wat happened. The black guy said, U GOT NO EVIDENCE!!! The police say true and walk away. Then go to Dunkin Donuts and get a triple chocolate donnut and coffee. They lived happily ever after. Except for the white guy. :)

I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

epic win?

what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

Women's Rights

Why did the teacher give the little boy a golden star? He was a Jew and it was in Germany during the 1940's

You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

why did they plain crash? cause of gravity stupid

Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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