Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

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Yo momma's so fat, she's most likely to be at risk of high cholesterol and should probably get herself tested at her nearest health clinic.

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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Whats black and hanging from a tree in my backyard? A tire swing

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roses are red violets are blue i'm chinese and i don't know a joke pickle.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers who are you?

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

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Why do Mexicans always have heart burn? Because the food is spicy.

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How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

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How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is slenderman and he is chasing 6

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops