Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

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A Nazi walks into a bar. No one really knows he's a Nazi and he doesn't talk about it that much in public, so he chats to some people then leaves after a few beers...

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What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? She was a mother catering for her child's sporting event.

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what's worse than stubbing your toe on cement being a Jew during the holcaust

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I baked tonight. What did you bake? Brownies. What kind of brownies? Chocolate.

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Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

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Q: What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? A: Ten babies nailed to eleven trees.

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why did the little girl throw a clock out of the window? because she wanted to see time fly

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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George W. Bush

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Anti-Joke.com Post anonymously with no editing!

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Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have 2 legs

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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a man walks into a bar and quickly notices a young lady having a drink. He sits beside her and asks 'why the long face?' 'My mother was raped by a horse.'

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I got bored today and decided to surf the web. Thank you for reading this

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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What do you get when you drink water? Piss.

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What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown.

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

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What's Black,White and red all over? A black person with a skin disease on her period.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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