How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

A man walks into a bar and sees a woman starring at him, she seems attractive... he walks up to her and realizes that sheis quite mediocre if not even ugly. He proceeds to say "You'll do"

Yo Momma's so fat......... that she should probably start eating healthy and exercising more regularly or else she may be at risk of developing heart disease or diabetes

Your mother is so stupid because as a child, she was unable to keep up with what was being taught as she unfortunately had a learning disability.

How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the kangaroo fall over? Because it fell over the dead koala

Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

whats big and green, andif it falls from a tree , it can kill you? a golfcourse

Whats worse than not having fun at a party? Getting so drunk at a party that you shat in your pants Whats worse than shatting in your pants at a party drunk? Shatting in you pants twice because you were so drunk again.

Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

Why was the woman so hot? she was on fire

Three men walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

Why did the boy play Xbox? Because its a quality source of entertainment

What did the guy say when he died? nothing, he was dead

Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

Knock knock. Who's there? FedEx. FedEx who? Just kidding, it's hookers.

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? It was my car.

I'm homeless.

What's black and white and red all over? A domestically abused bi-racial woman.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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