What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

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What's Kanye West's goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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Whats the difference between a black guy at the beach, and a black guy at the zoo? One is at the beach, and one is at the zoo.

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Why are asians bad drivers? Driving schools in asia are severely less developed and therefore produce less experienced and skillful drivers. They also have asian eyes (:

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

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In 2030, what will most people be doing for a living? Using food stamps.

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What do you call a zebra eating Cheerios? A zebra eating Cheerios.

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Why did I miss my bus? Because my watch was wrong.

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LIKE FOR GANGNAM STYLE. DISLIKE FOR JUSTIN BIEBER LETS SEE WHO WINS

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If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

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Q. What did the chicken do when it lost its egg? A. It went to go look for it. Q. Why was the chicken scared of the duck? A. Because it was chicken Q.Why can't chickens fly? A. Because they don't want to Q.Why can't chickens swim? A. Because they don't want to Q. Whey do chickens cluck? A. Because they want to Q. Why did the chicken jump on top of a car? A. Because it knows how Q. Why doesn't a chicken have hands? A. Because it's not human Q. What did the chicken dream about? A. Chicken dreams Q. Why was the chicken lost? A. Because it wasn't found Q. Why wasn't the chicken afriad of the dog? A. Because the chicken was blind Q. Why doesn't the chicken know how to drive a car A. Because they don't need to

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Life is like a bucket of wood shavings. Except when they're in a pail. Then it's like a pail of wood shavings.

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A horse and a group of people are the jury in a courtroom. They are expected to vote yay or nay of whether a supposed robber is guilty or not. The jury goes into their room. They come out, and the people vote yay. The room turns to the horse. The horse states his objection very thoughtfully, and then leaves the room.

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Roeses Are Red Violets Are Blue He's The One For Me And Not For You, And If You Try To Take My Place I Will Take My Fist And Smash Your Face(:

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what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

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Some of these jokes are funny, others are sad.

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How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

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What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

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why did the boy cry because i punched him so hard in the face he shit out his teeth for the next three weeks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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