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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

A lot eh?

Once upon a time a was born

Why does Larry the Cable Guy get his own T.V. show??? Why can't I have one of my own??? .......ah...forgot....I'm a minority...

Sam slept and never woke up again.. Because he followed his dream.

Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

What is six foot three, plays basketball, and is black? A black dog with basketball skills and takes steroids.

What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

What do you call a dog without a bone? Floppy.

your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

I had a chocolate chip cookie today, thats it, just a chocolate chip cookie.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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