A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

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What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

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What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

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Your moms so dumb that she has cancer..... wait thats racist

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "why the long face?" The horse replies, "I am Sarah Jessica Parker."

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint

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if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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Why was Tommy late for school? He got raped by spiderman.

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

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What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

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Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

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What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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These Jokes suck.

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"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops