Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

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How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

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Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

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A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Death by kayak

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if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

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What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

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What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

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The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops