What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch porn daily.

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B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

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What did the bullet say to Bin-Laden? Suck it

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Trees are black, WHO BURNT MY GARDEN?!

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How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

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IKR! and I hear rondo and wade were in a fight too!

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

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What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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