Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

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My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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What's blue and smells like sky? Sky

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

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whats the best anti joke ever? mine you dipshit

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Jesus Christ

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"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

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Why does the chicken cross the road? 4

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A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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who's specky and stinks of shit? josh moran

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

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This one time, at band camp, I played the trumpet.

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What do you call a smart phone that doesn't want to work? The first conscious phone ever

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Nero7 How are you doing? This is "Eliza" I hope I will be joining, but I cannot reach you by phone, please respond ASAP time is running out.

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roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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What did the man in the mirror say to the other man The Same F****** Thing!!

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

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whats black, then white, then dead all over? Michael jackson

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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