Man: Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains........ Doctor: You clearly have Alarming mental issues perhaps a psychologist would be the right person to discuss this matter further

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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Q: Men are always very careful to have penises. Why don't women care enough to have them? A: That's a very good question.

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Hey whats sad about 4 black people going over a cliff in a cadillac. Nothing

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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Why did the chicken cross the road? AIDs.

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Yo mom is so stinky that when she gets in a room every one leaves the room

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

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What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was taped to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it didn't

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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Q: why did Suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? a guy who copies antijokes on ant joke.com

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How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

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A man fell in a hole. He's dead now...

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Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

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Guess what what?? chicken butt!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

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I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

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A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides not to racially profile them and continues on his own business.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops