Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

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a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

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"is it just me or is it getting really hot in here?" "the house is on fire and we are locked in"

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

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Why did Doris need a hip replacement Because she fell down the stairs

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Why didn't the 12-year old boy eat his birthday cake? He has diabetes and would likely die from the increased spike in insulin.

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Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

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How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

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a man walks into a bar, what does he say answer: oww..

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Why do catholic priests enjoy the company of boys? Because they must remain celibate and cannot have children of their own.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He didn't believe in santa.

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Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

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Why did the boy lose his change? He had no Pants Why did the boy have no pants? The Holocaust

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jeff Oh hey Jeff, come on in

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What's funnier than 24? 9/11

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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