Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinsons..

thumb_up thumb_down +1

My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a man dyslexic into bar walks a

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Is that a gun? Or are you forcing your boner into my back? Or is it something completely different that shares the physical characteristics of guns and boners?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

NeroChan, I have said nothing to you, that you have not taught me, if nothing else you have indirectly inspired yourself, you will get back on your feet, you just need to take one step at the time, I know how ambitious you are, but you always focused on helping others, hiding, seeing yourself as a sinking ship, trying to help as many as possible before you pass away. We can work trough this together, it is easy to figure out that you are trying to protect others from what you feel that you have become, something that cannot be repaired, something that was never meant to be fixed, but to be used until it had no more to give.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

thumb_up thumb_down +1

An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mama is so black, she contributes regularly to the NAACP and the United Negro College Fund. Her donations and volunteer work help greatly.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I love bacon therefor I love people who eat bacon execpt people who eat my bacon then I hate people who eat bacon

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why was the little boy screaming. he realized he was an asian

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops