Knock knock who's threre me, I kill you

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Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

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life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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What do you get when you cross a helicopter, elephant, and a rhino? Heliphino

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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Why did Gina laugh? Because something was funny.

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

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Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

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Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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I'm rick james bitch

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I like my wine like I like my women. Not at all.

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roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

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Your mother is so fat that she will likely eventually develop diabetes.

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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A man finds out he was molested by his father as a child.

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Kevin+Sean sitting in a tree enjoying mcdonald's free wifi.

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What's read,bubbly and looks out the window? A baby in a microwave

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn't quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family's murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family's killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer's whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers' home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers' body-gaurds, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Froghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Froghorn's life didn't, and wouldn't, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him "You're finally home Ralph, you're finally home."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops