How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I think everybody should have a penis. Does that make me a bad feminist?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Eight hours? Sigh, leave it to me then! We both know you are a sweetheart behind that thick skull of yours, I mean why would you ask if it bothers me then?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What colour is an orange? Orange. What did you expect?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Chris is hairy

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the kid jump? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than a dead baby joke? A dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the blonde run into a screen door? Because screen doors are difficult to see when one is running at full speed

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a latino with a limp? John...his name is John

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man is driving the speed limit of 55 on the highway. He gets pulled over and the cop says, "Do you know how fast you were going sir?" The man replies "Well yes I was going 55, the speed limit." The cop says, "No you were going 80." The speedometers broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Julia fall of the swings? She had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Julia.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Santa and smart blond jump off a building who lands frost none nethither exist

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas?? - Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops