knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

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A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides not to racially profile them and continues on his own business.

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what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

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Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

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your mama's so fat... that's it

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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What's worse than being hit with a falling brick? Being hit with many falling bricks. -ilikecrepes97

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So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

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A frog hops into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get you to drink?". The frog hops out and the bartender realizes he is talking to animals because he has anxiety issues and all of his friends leave him and he spends every night crying and waiting to be loved...so he shoots himself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not quite sure, but I just realized that my new pair of boxer briefs has ripped along the seam. Oh, and earlier this morning, I stubbed my toe pretty bad. The nail is all purple and the toe is all swollen, it was bleeding profusely until I put three bandages over the wound. It's still throbbing with pain. Oh, and also, a few months ago, I lost my job. It wasn't because I was constantly late or anything, it was more because as a server, I had been required to lift trays and stand and walk for the entirety of my shift. The only problem is, that about a year ago, I was involved in a serious car accident (once again, an occurrence that had not been due to my own actions). This car accident severed my spine in the L5 region. I can now barely walk for long periods of time, I find it impossible to run, I can no longer play sports and enjoy being a 21 year old male. I am in constant pain and it affects my breathing, my legs, the rest of my back, and also my teeth (due to the neurological connections dealing with the spinal cord). I am now currently looking for a new job, a more suitable job, to help sustain my hectic lifestyle. No, it is not a lifestyle of parties and what not, it is merely the lifestyle of living under roof and owning a used car. I have an alcoholic mother and my childhood was devoid a father. I raised myself, and to this day, I still have no family to help me through my financial struggles. I need nearly 2000 dollars in less than a week in order to pay all my bills, have my car fixed, and eat for another month. The only problem is, I have a dollar and 58 cents to my name. I wish I was this chicken, crossing roads, and what not, not just to get to the other side, but to live a better life. But, one can only wish.

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What do you get when a sister and a brother have sex? A deformed child.

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One day there was a princess born in the jungle. The story goes, that she'd be saved by a grand champion - a Hero. So the day came that she fell in love. After a few magical years, they broke up and she realized that fairy tales are for little girls.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a car? It depends on how fast you drive.

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Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

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What do u get when you mix a young asian woman and a black man? Tiger Woods

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Why are people in Africa dying? because the majority of them have a lack of food and fresh water which effects their health.

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What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

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I tried to play soccer a long time ago. I didn't score and managed to get red card... Then I realized it was not my thing

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XD I TOTALLY CANT BELIEVE I FELL FOR THAT ONE! XD IT WAS LIKE SO OBVIOUS! XD

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Wait what was I saying

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jews

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What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

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I find Holocaust jokes hilarious, Anne Frankly I know a few...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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