How do you leave a guy in suspense ...

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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A guy watches TMJBtv on YouTube. He then shoots himself.

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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what's worse than 24? 6 million.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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A man asked a horse "Why such a long face?" The Horse replies "My entire family just died in a plane crash."

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

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What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

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Dick Cheney That's the joke

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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What do you call 5 black people being killed in a car crash? A terrible incident

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

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The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

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Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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Q: What is the difference between a moose and a cow? A: How they're spelled.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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